I hate it when casinos act weird about my blackjack play.

“How do I know he’s cheating? HE’S WINNING! That’s how!”

Playing blackjack in Vegas years ago, some guys next to me said they “Didn’t understand insurance.” “Oh,” I said, “It’s a bet on whether she’s got a ten under that Ace. But only 1/3 of the deck is tens, that’s why you don’t take insurance, because she only has it ..1 out of 3 times overall.” When I gazed back at the table I noticed this pit boss was staring at me with rage and hatred in his eyes! That cracked me up and I just laughed and smiled at him. Then he goes and gets on his pit phone, which also cracked me up! Why is this so..funny to me? Well, this guy’s steaming angry and calling to have my play reviewed because I can do 3rd grade math!! 10JKQ – 4 tens per suit. 4 suits. 44=16. 52 cards per deck. 16 goes into 52, 3 times (note 3*16=48) with 4 left over, or 3.25. Thus approx. 1/3 of the deck ..is tens. Exactly 1/3 would be 3.333… close enough for this purpose. All that’s just simple arithmetic, 3rd and 4th graders could do it. So this pit boss is enraged at people who can do arithmetic. That’s why it gave me the giggles! It’s ridiculous and it exposes so many

sick aspects of casinos, their personnel, and their attitude toward their marks..er, uh..I mean customers. They create an environment intended to communicate “these guys deal in vast sums and know what they’re doing,” from the marble to the pit boss’s nice suit and coiffed..silver hair. But it’s just not so. They’re often just as superstitious and given to irrational thinking as a bad blackjack player. And most of them don’t really know the math of their own games. Most of them don’t even have basic strategy for BJ memorized, and how hard is that? Then, turning from the empty suits to the empty promises of casino marketing, this boss’s anger at me for stating the simple fact that 1/3 of the deck is tens shows how they really view us. We’re just supposed to come in and give them money! If a customer appears to be ..capable of thought then – “FLAG THIS GUY! USE OF ARITHMETIC SHOWS HE’S A “SKILLED PLAYER” AND POSSIBLY AN “ADVANTAGE PLAYER” CHEATING THE HOUSE!” HAhahahah! I mean it’s so ridiculous, it’s hilarious! “HE GRADUATED 4TH GRADE! WATCH HIM LIKE A HAWK!!” Jeez… fuck those guys, man.Here are some wrong things I’ve had dealers and pit bosses tell me over the years, and no, they weren’t being sly. 1) “Whether you hit or stay on a hand, the most important thing is to always be consistent” <-That one is so dumb, why is it so widely believed? Always consistent..How do the cards know that you always hit your 12 against dealer 6 up, or you never hit soft 18 against 10 up? And if they DID know, they.. what, arrange themselves to make those plays work more often because you’re “consistent?” NO. Both of these plays are incorrect and..being “always consistent” with them only means you’re consistently wrong. But most dealers and pit bosses believe in this “always consistent” craziness. 2) When you are playing well and winning, they’ll decide they need to change out the cards and put brand new decks..in play. OK this one has at least SOME basis in reality. It could break the concentration of some players, and others are so superstitious that they think their “luck” will change if anything in the game is changed, and this belief can adversely affect their play. And, it is a..defense against cheaters who mark cards. But it has no effect on non-superstitious, non-cheating players like me and actually slows down their money machine and costs them. 3) “HEAT” – when a player is doing well and winning big, these dorky pit bosses will do weird stuff, like give you a silly stare-down. Sometimes two or three or them will sit and stare at you in a team stare-down, which always makes me laugh. Then they’ll also come up right behind you, and lean over you and watch your play with a goofy air of suspicion. They’ll get 3 big ol’..security guards to come up and make a little ring of fatty beef around you, arms crossed, faces displaying a threatening glare, the pit boss almost leaning on you like, “I want you to know we are watching you!!” That one always makes me laugh and giggle, too. What are they doing, and why are they doing it?? Who freakin’ knows? Physical intimidation? These are deep pocketed publicly traded corps. who operate under a state gaming license. I’ve said out loud before, “PLEASE beat me up, break some bones, toss me out in the desert! NOW, please!”
I mean, that would be one of the best things that could ever happen to me, if they would beat me severely and dump me in the desert. I’d win so much money in court from them that Salmons would still be spending the returns it throws off a hundred years from now. It’s true!It’s happened before that Vegas casinos have lost huge sums from their dim-bulb security guys beating up patrons, holding them against their will, etc. But the real reason Im completely unperturbed by their theatrical reproduction of an old mob movie is that I’m not doing..
anything wrong. Nothing! I’m about the most honest person one could meet, the thought of cheating would never occur to me. Card counting is NOT cheating (Supreme Court of Nevada) – but I’m not doing that, either! I’m nice to everyone, I never complain or blame over losses..I tip everyone really well, I don’t judge or care what other players do. I play their game by their rules, just exactly the way they designed it. So they could put 5 pit bosses and 10 security guards breathing down my neck, and I have no reason to even pay attention to them.
Thing is, the worst they can do is walk you to the cage, let you cash out, then to the door, and inform you that they no longer want your business. That’s legally ALL they can actually do. And that would probably be a good thing for me, not a bad thing! I don’t need to be …around free alcohol! That’s like playing russian roulette for me. But I’ve only been asked not to play one particular table in one particular casino out of 12 years of very frequent playing. And that low-roller joint (Riviera) no longer exists. Yeah, I make some incredible ..plays that probably freak them out. I’m scary, it would even scare me sometimes if I wasn’t so used to it. But all I am doing at this point is getting into a relaxed, meditative state and letting my subconscious do the work. I studied hard and trained for many hours on basic strategy trainers, learned bankroll management and proper bet sizing to minimize your risk of ruin, and I’ve played certainly over 10,000 hours of live, real money play. But now I don’t have to think about it much. I pay attention and absorb all the sensory information I can…but I don’t consciously store it in memory available to my conscious mind. I just let my subconscious soak it all in and let it deal with it. It’s got 200,000 times more processing power than your conscious mind does. Just because you think you’re not thinking doesn’t mean..you’re not thinking. Your subconscious only shows your conscious mind what it wants you to see, when it wants you to see it. It does this to protect you and your mind from information that could do harm. You just have to learn to relax and stop consciously thinking so much and learn to be sensitive to communications from your subconscious, and learn to trust what it’s saying, once you learn to hear it. So this is why I never have to worry about being backed off of any table or 86d from any casino due to my play. It doesn’t match the pattern ..of a card counter’s playing. Hard core counters play like robots. The true count goes up by X, increase your bet by Y units. It goes down by Z, decrease your bet by W units. The count is A, make basic strategy exception B. They can track my play forever and they’ll never see ..those patterns. I know this, and that is why I really don’t care what the casino does to try and intimidate me or throw off my play. I’m not doing anything to worry about. If they can figure it out, good luck to them because I’m not consciously aware of why I make certain playsI just do what the voices inside my head tell me to do, mannnnn…. hahahahah!

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